Les Miserables Notes

Here are my notes from watching the first half of Les Miserables. They are ridiculous. Enjoy!

2:30		There's an awkward amount of singing going on. This better not be a musical.
3:42		Hugh Jackman currently isn't Wolverine, but he's still a bad ass. Nice.
5:01		Apparently we're not supposed to forget Russell Crowe's character's name. If I never caught it in the first place, does that mean I never forgot it?
10:00		Hijacking silver? Russell Crowe used to have an adamantite skeleton. New Hugh Jackman has officially been knocked down three pegs.
12:21		Damnit, this has to be a musical. Pause button, more beer.
16:06		That chick looked a lot like Anne Hathaway. This movie may be saved yet…
17:01		That IS Anne Hathaway!
18:50		Every woman in this seen minus Anne Hathaway is a terrible bitch.
19:30		Any man who treats Anne Hathaway like that deserves death. If anyone dies in this film, he better be the first.
21:45		Hugh Jackman, still a beast. Bad ass.
23:14		French women have a very different definiteion of "lovely ladies" than I do.
23:44		What…what are you doing to Anne Hathaway's hair?
24:15		WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ANNE HATHAWAY?! DAMN YOU FRANCE! DAMN YOU TO AN ETERNITY TO LOSING WARS AND HAVING UNHEALTHY AMERICAN FOODS INCORRECTLY NAMED AFTER YOU!
27:10		Anne Hatahaway's pimp is terrible at his job. Even with no hair, he should still be charging the GNP of most latin american countires. They should all be rich by the end of this scene. But they aren't. Failure.
31:37		I…I promised myself I wouldn't cry. But…you can't do this to Anne Hathaway. I'll suck it up.
33:34		Javert. I know your name now. You bastard. You should die too.
38:34		Who are you? I'm pretty sure you are Jean Valjean…just…just saying.
39:30		See 38:34…
39:57		Court? This may be a bad time to bring 38:34 up…
43:11		NOOOOO!!!!!! Anne Hathaway just died. No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!. And like Denzel Washington in Glory, A single tear of utter devastation falls slowly down my cheek….
44:11		Someone call Pheonix River, Russell Crowe needs to die. ASAP.
46:27		Once again Helen Bonham Carter looks like…Helen Bonham Carter. And I want to punch her.
48:30		Sasha Baron Cohan, AKA Borat, acts this good in this thing called reality. This movie is cake for him. This man needs an oscar. He's incredible.
49:43		Peeing into a wine bottle? This is Borat!
51:42		Ok, HBC is also awesome. But I still wanna punch her. Hard.
52:11		There is no way after seeing this that little Eponine turns out ok.
55:34		Add SBC to list of people I want to punch in the face. But only because h's that good of an actor. Damn him.
57:23		Anne Hathaway is gone, but her little daughter is melting my manly heart. ADORABLE.
101:30		24601 is not nearly as catchy as 8675309…
104:39		Speaking of falling if Javert wants to fall off this wall and die right now, I will not be sad. NO ONE will be sad.
108:41		This little kid is a badass. That is all.
110:41		Anne Hathaway's replacement has been found. I can keep watching this movie
111:11:00		New Corsette is not as ADORABLE as old Corsette. This is sad.
111:17		THAT'S EPONINE? I retract 52:11…
111:27		We killed off Anne Hathaway, but we brought back SBC and HBC? Seriously, if anyone else dies in this film, it better be these pricks.
113:31		Seriously, Jean ValJean should have gotten the F out of France long ago. He's filthy rich, get his ass to London.
115:02		Enter awkward love triangle with random dude I do not know and shall call Freckles and the gorgeous Eponine. This can't go wrong. Yes.
117:57		Freckles is crushing hard on Eponine. I don't blame him. But he seriousl needs to get laid. His color shouting frined needs to get laid more though. That and discuss more than just two colors…
112"29		Dear Amanda Seyfriend, I find it hard to find you ADORABLE like nine year old year after having seen Mean Girls. But you're getting closer….