The Brotract

Now that my twin brother (henceforth known as “bro”) and I will be moving out to a new apartment/house, I’ve decided some ground rules are in order to keep the Bropad a fun place to be. This is especially true since other bro’s of ours will be stopping by often and they aren’t as…”respectful.” So without any further ado, I present to you, The Brotract:

All girls brought into the house must be introduced to the rest of the bros. Failure to do so will result in the girl being given “walk of shame” status until she is introduced, even if all other bros are 100 percent positive that isn’t the case. It’s common courtesy.

Bro’s have chores, and bro’s will do said chores because they are respectable members of society. Chores will also be redistributed in the event of any bro rule violation, as doing something just plain stupid or mean. Some example violations of these rules include:
                Gaseous bathroom ambushes (AKA: Failure to courteous flush last night’s Taco Bell run)
                Inviting douchebag friends to parties
                Taking the last beer in the fridge (You get more FIRST.)
The official go-to rulebook for all bro rules violations is “The Bro Code”, from HIMYM, ISBN-10: 143911000X. This is because Barney Stinson knows all that is Brology. Period.

You bring food home for yourself, then you bring food home for all the bros. And telephone ahead to make sure you get the right order if you don’t know what to get. The same goes for cooking frozen pizzas, buying cheap beer, and inviting new girls to a party (She has to have friends…)

The bros living at the house (AKA the ones paying the bills) have their designated spots on the couches, and are entitled to those spots at all times because they pay the bills. If a friend of the bros violates said spots, it’s the duty of the bro that invited said friend to kindly have them move their ass out of aforementioned spot. Same goes for girlfriends. In the event said bro allows girlfriend to stay in spot of violation, it is the duty of all other bros in the house to make the ”whipped” sound to remind said brother that mancards are a privilege, not a right, and he can hand his off at the nearest garbage can.

Bros clean up after themselves, because this isn’t collegiate frat bros, this is legit bros. If friends of said bros can’t hold their alcohol/Mexican food/other messes, the bros that invite them will clean up after them. If they fail to do so, chore reassignments and pranking will be initiated.

Bro hugs are allowed for the following reasons and the following reasons only:
1. You are saying goodbye to a really damn good friend you haven’t seen in a while
2. You are providing bro support
3. The Bears just scored a touchdown / Hawks scored goal / any similar sports event occurs.

The fridge is bro community food unless food is clearly marked by a bro as that bro’s only. Otherwise, open season on those Pepsi’s and leftovers. One exception - it’s always open season on cheap beer in the fridge. Period.

All bros (especially taken bros) are expected to be wingman in the event one is needed. Failure to do so will result in chore reassignments plus the obligatory whipped sounds for not helping a bro in need.

We are bros, not “bra’s.” Bras are female undergarments. There’s a difference.

You do not change another bro’s TV or radio channel without permission unless you are positive that all bros will agree you are going to a better channel. Exception - if you’re playing video games, you lose any and all rights to the TV.

No word yet if my twin bro signed it…I’m betting no…